My Personal Reboot

Paradise Found?

After weeks of searching for the right fit I saw an ad looking for crisis hotline specialists and decided it was a long-shot, given that I have zero experience working in non-profits or as a counselor, but that it was something I should try.

Just in those first emails with my now-supervisor, it really clicked that I might have found MY PLACE.

Going through the training to become a crisis counselor only solidified my resolve that this is what I’m supposed to be doing. As a survivor of sexual assault and a suicide attempt, I can’t think of anything more important for me to do than to try and help others going through the same thing.

I want to tell men and women whose wounds are still fresh that with time and an unwillingness to give up on themselves, they can make it to the other side of recovery. They can have a life again, they can have strength again. It really does get better, cliches be damned.

 

Belief in yourself is one of the most powerful things you can have in your corner. Let’s all work together to make each other collectively stronger.

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My Personal Reboot

Girl, Inspired

 

So after my last post, I’ve been doing a lot of thought – who am I? Really?

I don’t believe that I’m a *bad* person (just trust me on that point) but I have to admit to myself…

I’m a selfish person.

And realizing that made me feel ashamed.

Which made me think of the less selfish, childhood version of myself, and specifically the volunteer work my parents did before they split up, because I grew up thinking every family went to Tijuana every few months to pass out supplies to the needy.

It wasn’t until I got older that I realized just how much my parents went out of their way to help others while we were kids, and that somehow those lessons had faded away from the “adult” version of myself.

These were some of the core values my parents instilled in me:

  • Do the right thing even if it gets you in trouble.
  • Always take up for the underdog, even if that position makes you an underdog too.
  • Respect is something that’s earned, it isn’t a right.
  • You’re very, very lucky — so try to do everything within your power to help those less fortunate.

But somewhere I lost that last point, and really, it should be the most important one. That’s not the person my parents hoped I would become and it’s the not the person I want to be (anymore).

I was brought up by four amazing, incredibly giving people who expect better of me, even if they love me too much to say so.

That was a hard pill to swallow, but I’m grateful I’ve realized this while there’s still time to do something about it.

So that’s exactly what I’m going to do: start looking for an opportunity to really give back and help people again, the way that I was raised.

Wish me luck, kiddos!

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