I can tell you from firsthand experience that anger and vitriol don’t win arguments.

Trying to shove the same tired rhetoric down our throats doesn’t work and all this backlash coming from Democrats over the #WalkAway Campaign only proves the point for us that we made the correct choice to leave.

Thanks for listening, stay strong everyone and be excellent to each other!

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Wow you guys. I’m floored by the response to my #WalkAway story — especially by my own friends! Over 100k *real* people organizing on FB to say they’re leaving or have left their respective political parties and instead of asking us Why, or using this as an opportunity to open a healthy dialogue, the majority of our friends would rather vilify us, call us brainwashed, racists, white supremacists and worse.

What about taking a moment to reflect on their own politics and wonder why someone would want to leave? What about trying to bring their friends back into the fold in a kind, supportive way?

Naw, self-reflection is hard. Pointing a finger at oneself is difficult. It’s far easier to try and shout us down and insult us until we see how foolish we are and come to our senses, right???

Except that’s not working.

Throwing insults, unfriending, even blocking people they used to care about is only driving an entire group of people further away. Calling a friend a brainwashed robot because they’ve decided to openly speak and think for themselves is only proving to them they we were right to leave.

Get off Twitter if it’s bothersome. Stop using it as the litmus test. That is not the home of this campaign. Every popular thing that exists on Twitter is full of bad actors. Go to any thread about a popular musician or group and you will find a flood of bots trying to sell you something. Twitter is a means for some of us to communicate, but Facebook is where we are currently organizing. And it’s on FB that we’re getting the most hurtful responses, because most of us understand that Twitter is full of trolls and shouldn’t be taken as seriously.

It’s on Facebook that we’re called traitors and cowards by our own friends. It’s there that we risk isolating ourselves in our real lives. It’s where the people we grew up with and love try to openly discredit us by insisting we must be brainwashed and mislead.

Those kind of ‘friends’ don’t need to worry about Russian bots encouraging us to #WalkAway, they’re doing a bang-up job on their own.

#WalkAway

#WalkAway: Stay Strong Everyone

When I first publish my #WalkAway story, I think maybe five to ten of my friends and family will see it. I look at it as a “safe” way (oh the innocence of youth) to “come out” to them and admit what I’ve been up to lately.

I decide to cover my bases and post it to FB and Twitter because I have conservative friends and family on both platforms that I’ve deliberately lost touch with. I want them to know that I’m sorry and ready to listen with compassion and respect, but I’m still too much of a coward to reach out to them personally.

One of these people is my own brother. This amazingly funny, musically gifted, devoted father and husband who I cast out of my life for the “crime” of being a lifelong religious conservative. I hope that my message will reach him, we unfollowed each other awhile ago (of course), but at the same time I’m too scared to directly send it to him.

I figure I’ll quietly post it and then wait for the inevitable angry phone call from my mother.

Then, as many stories nowadays begin– Reddit happened…

When I realize my video has been seen by thousands of people, this giant lurch starts to form in my gut because I immediately think of what they’re going to do with my past. There’s some pretty aggressive religious criticism and “hyper-woke” tweets, I’m sure– but it gets a lot messier than that.

I understand not everyone can be open about their struggles with mental health so I feel I have a duty to everyone out there suffering in silence to be LOUD about my fight to stay positive and move forward.

I consider for a moment whether I should take it down or make it private. Then I realize that’s exactly what my critics want me to do.

Strangers are using my love for creative and artistic expression as a way to convince others that I’m lying. They’re using my looks and my ability to speak in complete, mostly coherent sentences to say I must be a Russian bot or an alt-right, paid actor. My 20-year-old suicide attempt and my willingness to speak openly about it are being used as a means to discredit everything I have to say.

The problem? I’m not ashamed of any of it. You aren’t going to make me stop acting, you aren’t going to make me stop thinking, you aren’t going to make me stop speaking by pointing out my issues.  A damaged person that comes out the other side and embraces life is only made stronger by that damage. No amount of abuse hurled at me by strangers online will ever come close to the mental abuse I used to inflict on myself.

I just want to tell anyone reading this who has a past, who dares to say out loud that you’re going to think for yourself, if you’re openly proclaiming that you’re walking away they’re probably going to try and attack your credibility by using anything they can find to discredit you.

I sincerely hope you don’t let that silence you.

MeAndJ

Together with his first child– that baby is 17 now!

And there are happy endings: my mother has yet to say anything about the video. I’m holding out hope for her. But my brother saw it, loved it, and reached out to me. I know that we’re going to be okay going forward and I hope we find ourselves together again soon.

Please keep adding your voice to this collective of people from every side of the political fence that want to return to the days of compromise by engaging in civil discourse. Stay strong everyone, it’s rough out there but there’s light at the end of this tunnel if we keep coming together to support one another. You know where to find me if you need help.

 

 

 

 

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I’ve been so inspired by this #WalkAway movement that I decided to get over my fear and add my voice. It’s such a shame what’s happening to our country. I’ve seen this quote in several places recently and it resonates with me enough to try and paraphrase it here: if your love for your country hinges on who is president, then you don’t love your country.

I am so proud to be an American and have the right to sit here today and express these thoughts. I’ve tried to voice my concerns but it feels like such an all or nothing argument coming from the left. To vocalize any kind of dissenting opinion that doesn’t fall in lock/step with “the war for social justice” gets us labeled a nazi, bigot, or some other kind of racist— sometimes by our own families.

So here’s my contribution to this movement. From one lifelong Democrat, here to say No More. I’m nowhere near Conservative, nowhere near Republican, but I’m still breaking up with my party. No more rabid cognitive dissonance, no more exaltation of victimhood– I’ve chosen to #WalkAway.

Random Thoughts

Idols vs. Inspiration

Who are you influenced by? Sometimes the people we look up to let us down, or as we grow, the people we idolize become more human and less mythical.

I struggle sometimes with that juxtaposition— the hero I want vs. the real person. I’m working on letting go of my expectations of others and accepting people as they are.

Sometimes that means accepting that I have to let them go, sometimes it means integrating the real person with the lessons I’ve learned from them, and perhaps separating that lesson from their personhood. I’m coming to understand that I can still benefit from what resonates with me while letting go of what doesn’t, and it’s okay to do so.

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I recently got lost and wanted to do a deep dive into my usual round of self-defeating, destructive behavior– mentally tearing myself apart for making a simple mistake…

I was about to start crying when I told myself to regroup and search for any way I could turn this into a positive experience– literally (and I only use that term when I literally mean it) as soon as the thought escaped my head I drove by The Most Amazing Place I Never Knew Existed.

Thank you, Tony and Jim, I mistakenly say you’ve “been in” radio when I meant “INTO radio” but your joy and acceptance was everything I needed right then. You had no idea what you saved me from, thank you for welcoming me to the National Capital Radio & Television Museum with open arms and for turning a potentially rough afternoon into a fantastic one!